This week I want you to focus on connecting to yourself through intentional solitude. The key here is to be “intentional with your time and how you use it.”
Benefits of connecting to yourself through intentional solitude:
- You’re actively seeking a dialogue with your inner self.
- You’re getting that much needed alone time.
- You fill your cup first so you can be the best version of yourself to take care of others.
So… I have a little bit of a bad habit when it comes to seeking solitude. I am a homebody and a total hermit crab. I never want to leave home. Can anyone else relate?
My Personal Experience:
My intention to seek solitude to recharge my batteries is always well meaning, but I never actually intentionally seek to connect with myself in that time. I think I’m going to, and I tell myself that is why I need alone time… but in reality, I am pacifying myself instead. I scroll through social media, go down rabbit holes, or distract myself with youtube videos or documentaries. While those things can be entertaining, they are not helping me connect to my inner most true self.
Those pacifications are keeping me from sitting with myself and my thoughts, alone.
I love silence. In it I can hear everything. But I can’t stand sitting in silence with my thoughts. I am afraid of my thoughts for some reason. So I always have something occupying me, even if it looks like I’m sitting in silence, I’m really not. Something is keeping my brain distracted and active during the time that I should be using to get to know myself deeper.
I have noticed that actively and intentionally planning my solitude time keeps me from pacification.
If I go into alone time blind without a plan, then I am certain to pick up my phone or turn on the TV.
Activities for Solitude (That Are NOT Pacification)
- reading your old journal entries
- making art
- intentional body movement
- silent meditation
- open eyed meditation
You might be thinking that some things are missing from this list like: listening to music, reading, learning a new skill, cooking. But I assure you that while those things may seem like they are well intention and good activities for solitude, they are not actively opening and creating a dialogue with your inner most true self. They are keeping your mind quiet by distracting it.
Another key to this practice is letting your inner dialogue speak and confronting your thoughts so you can get to know yourself better.
things to remember…
- being alone with your thoughts can be uncomfortable and even scary
- you are letting your inner child speak up and finally be heard (she’ll undoubtedly have a lot to say)
- it gets easier to be with your thoughts the more you practice it
Fostering self connection through solitude can be hard and uncomfortable. But you have taken the first step by reading this week’s spirituality tip.
By fostering a self connection through solitude I have found, that I am less afraid of my inner thoughts and that I am better able to manage my anxiety. It was really hard to get to know my inner self and let her speak her mind. I have found that if I don’t pacify myself and create the space for that inner exploration through journaling and meditation that I am much calmer because there is nothing bubbling beneath the surface that I am clueless about.
BUT none of this means that I always choose not to pacify myself. I forget, get lazy, or choose bad habits over good ones. I am constantly trying to get to know my inner self and its a struggle. But also a life long journey that have been scarily beautiful. I have already learned to much and have so much more to discover.
Stop pacifying yourself even in your alone time and solitude. Create a space to be intentional with your solitude and let your inner voice speak to you.